Just laying here in front of the screen, I try pick myself up, and find the right words. I know, this is not a contest, nor a life threatening situation, but the need to find motivation blooms in times of life navigation with no heading.
Where to go from here, what to do? I can go anywhere, but a new place doesn't mean a new, bright, life. I can do anything, anything new, but in doing so, I cannot guarantee myself a solid base for an upper step in life. Even more, there is a risk of turning things to worse.
A new approach!
A new approach to all the old things in me, around me, away from me, that could be an answer.An answer that all us are looking for, on how to better our life. How? If, you think you might find answer in my article, you're wrong! I am not a guru, I am just a, statistically speaking, part of you! And that small part of you urges you to search, to analyze, and to Improve. Yes, to improve, as we are never to old, or too young for it. Improvement offers you a chance to look at the old you, and say: "I couldn't have done that 3 months before!". Continuous improvement, offers you the chance to repeat that step, over and over again, and that is how you build Confidence. Improving and building confidence unveils a path that has continuation in setting a road map, and that is connected to Motivation. And when all this elements come together, just imagine what you can be!
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
No clouds over Larnaca; big grey clouds over Cyprus.
Indeed, not even the smallest cloud over Larnaca! But, the storm was here, and what a dangerous one! It was a storm of men, not of God, a storm designed unknowingly by men, not by nature, of an incredible force, with an terrible ending: loss of life!
How did it come to this? Well, it is pretty clear it´s an almost criminal negligence! No one can explain how that huge amount of dangerous material could be allowed to sit in the open, exposed to all that weather extremes and human errors or limitations, around communities and sites of strategical importance to Cyprus, because there is no explanation other than a death wish. I am no expert in explosives, economics or politics, but i know that what explodes has to be isolated, away from what is important for you, deeply buried into the ground. What is even more scary is that it went on for three years, being like a kamikaze warrior with a headband logo: ¨!!!Accident waiting to happen!!!¨. Taking notice, writing memos, having meetings about it, does not solve a problem like this; when life is in danger, clear, objective minds are needed, that need to see the obvious and react in a responsible manner. Writing a memo, shouldn't have lasted more than one hour, and a meeting in Nicosia about it shouldn't need more than 3 hours (including the trip to get there and back), which should have amounted to maximum one day (I am being really patient when i say one day) before a responsible decision to safely store that material can be taken. Anything else means playing with your children's life! But it didn't happen, whether it was about money (biggest problem of our time), politics (which, represents access to money, the big money!), or simply negligence, and the countdown stopped at 05:50h Cyprus time. Those responsible were not affected, and they will never be, politically or personally. They will come in front of the camera, will tell you they will assess the situation, will take the necessary measures, will put their head down simulating shame and regret, and give their condolences to the families of the victims. A month later they will come again in front of the camera, and they will tell you everything is under control, and that situation is starting to come back to normal, they will bribe you with a sum of money and other incentives (your own money, paid in form of taxes, that should have been used to safely store the danger away), and in a year time they will ask for your vote! ...Smiling, by the book, just like their image counselor told them to!
On the street i heard a lot of rumors, one that it was a terrorist attack, another that it was a frustrated Romanian worker, and even that it is the America's fault.... "America's fault?!?!..." i asked in horror, "How?". the explanation given to me by a poor bloke on the street was that USA forced Cyprus to impound the ship, and than refused to deal with it, leaving this small island with the biggest problem of its time. The word of USA weighs a lot in UN, but if Cyprus wants to be a part of it, it has to assume the same principles that guides it, and assume part of the responsibilities that derive from it. I am very sure the Americans put pressure on Cyprus to impound the ship, and its cargo, but i am also sure they thought Cyprus authorities knew how to handle this situation, and, most important, knew how to store explosives! That was only a word on the street, out of the mouth of a simple man. Unfortunately, I don't think he was thinking with his own mind, he was thinking with the mind given to him by the environment he lived in (a society governed by the same kind of people that will avoid the responsibility -collective or individual- for what had happened in several days ago), where at fault is "the other guy"! We all are guilty, some for knowing, others for not knowing, some for not acting, and some for not acting energetic enough!
I conclude by launching a memory exercise: Let us all remember (wherever you are, Cyprus, Europe, Earth..), this event before we stamp the vote on our favorite candidate, because sometime we pay our voting mistakes with the life of our children!
How did it come to this? Well, it is pretty clear it´s an almost criminal negligence! No one can explain how that huge amount of dangerous material could be allowed to sit in the open, exposed to all that weather extremes and human errors or limitations, around communities and sites of strategical importance to Cyprus, because there is no explanation other than a death wish. I am no expert in explosives, economics or politics, but i know that what explodes has to be isolated, away from what is important for you, deeply buried into the ground. What is even more scary is that it went on for three years, being like a kamikaze warrior with a headband logo: ¨!!!Accident waiting to happen!!!¨. Taking notice, writing memos, having meetings about it, does not solve a problem like this; when life is in danger, clear, objective minds are needed, that need to see the obvious and react in a responsible manner. Writing a memo, shouldn't have lasted more than one hour, and a meeting in Nicosia about it shouldn't need more than 3 hours (including the trip to get there and back), which should have amounted to maximum one day (I am being really patient when i say one day) before a responsible decision to safely store that material can be taken. Anything else means playing with your children's life! But it didn't happen, whether it was about money (biggest problem of our time), politics (which, represents access to money, the big money!), or simply negligence, and the countdown stopped at 05:50h Cyprus time. Those responsible were not affected, and they will never be, politically or personally. They will come in front of the camera, will tell you they will assess the situation, will take the necessary measures, will put their head down simulating shame and regret, and give their condolences to the families of the victims. A month later they will come again in front of the camera, and they will tell you everything is under control, and that situation is starting to come back to normal, they will bribe you with a sum of money and other incentives (your own money, paid in form of taxes, that should have been used to safely store the danger away), and in a year time they will ask for your vote! ...Smiling, by the book, just like their image counselor told them to!
On the street i heard a lot of rumors, one that it was a terrorist attack, another that it was a frustrated Romanian worker, and even that it is the America's fault.... "America's fault?!?!..." i asked in horror, "How?". the explanation given to me by a poor bloke on the street was that USA forced Cyprus to impound the ship, and than refused to deal with it, leaving this small island with the biggest problem of its time. The word of USA weighs a lot in UN, but if Cyprus wants to be a part of it, it has to assume the same principles that guides it, and assume part of the responsibilities that derive from it. I am very sure the Americans put pressure on Cyprus to impound the ship, and its cargo, but i am also sure they thought Cyprus authorities knew how to handle this situation, and, most important, knew how to store explosives! That was only a word on the street, out of the mouth of a simple man. Unfortunately, I don't think he was thinking with his own mind, he was thinking with the mind given to him by the environment he lived in (a society governed by the same kind of people that will avoid the responsibility -collective or individual- for what had happened in several days ago), where at fault is "the other guy"! We all are guilty, some for knowing, others for not knowing, some for not acting, and some for not acting energetic enough!
I conclude by launching a memory exercise: Let us all remember (wherever you are, Cyprus, Europe, Earth..), this event before we stamp the vote on our favorite candidate, because sometime we pay our voting mistakes with the life of our children!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Go out there and discover!
I swim!
Being away is an experience that opens up the perspective. It gives you the possibility to do things that were not open to you before. Each case is different, but in every case there is something that has opened for you.
I swim, I take advantage of every free day to throw myself in the sea, and swim all the way to the personal limit of comfort. I'm not a very good swimmer, and I don't do it only to try and keep myself in shape, it is the ever moving hugeness of the sea that attracts me, with it's wave sparkling in the sun, and the chilling sensation that you are so small.... Out there, it is just me and the scare i get looking at the horizon. And it makes me feel so weak, and so powerful at the same time. I couldn't do that in Transylvania. The best i could hope for was a clean pool, or a swim in a lake or a river. but there were other things open to me there.
Each part of this planet has something to offer to you! I am not a guru, I am not a counselor or a psychiatrist, I am but a simple man, that says: Go out there and discover!
Being away is an experience that opens up the perspective. It gives you the possibility to do things that were not open to you before. Each case is different, but in every case there is something that has opened for you.
I swim, I take advantage of every free day to throw myself in the sea, and swim all the way to the personal limit of comfort. I'm not a very good swimmer, and I don't do it only to try and keep myself in shape, it is the ever moving hugeness of the sea that attracts me, with it's wave sparkling in the sun, and the chilling sensation that you are so small.... Out there, it is just me and the scare i get looking at the horizon. And it makes me feel so weak, and so powerful at the same time. I couldn't do that in Transylvania. The best i could hope for was a clean pool, or a swim in a lake or a river. but there were other things open to me there.
Each part of this planet has something to offer to you! I am not a guru, I am not a counselor or a psychiatrist, I am but a simple man, that says: Go out there and discover!
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
To be or not to be....
I find myself walking the streets with no distinct objective. It is one way I manage to think, while walking. Think about myself, about my life, and trying to find a coherent follow up, that doesn't erode in a week.
I am alone! And I started loving my loneliness, with every day spent confined within the boundaries of my own garden of dreams. In this rocky island, I exist only as far as the maximum expansion of my own fence surrounding my beautiful garden.
Being a traveler made me like this? Perpetuating a sense of insecurity inside developed me into a never stopping runaway mad man. But what am i running away from?
Dear reader, maybe you can find some of this reflections inside you too. Whether you live in the place you were born, or thousand miles away from it, you make that place what it is for you, not the other way around! You make it holly, and you can make it feel empty; you have the power to clean it, build on it, paint it, grow on it... You have the power to control it! That power comes from your will to define the things around you, and not be defined by them!
I am alone! And I started loving my loneliness, with every day spent confined within the boundaries of my own garden of dreams. In this rocky island, I exist only as far as the maximum expansion of my own fence surrounding my beautiful garden.
Being a traveler made me like this? Perpetuating a sense of insecurity inside developed me into a never stopping runaway mad man. But what am i running away from?
Dear reader, maybe you can find some of this reflections inside you too. Whether you live in the place you were born, or thousand miles away from it, you make that place what it is for you, not the other way around! You make it holly, and you can make it feel empty; you have the power to clean it, build on it, paint it, grow on it... You have the power to control it! That power comes from your will to define the things around you, and not be defined by them!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Are you fully integrated in the society you're living in?
Are you? Think twice! Or, better said, what does it mean to be fully integrated? Speak the language, adopt the local customs, habits, superstitions, curse like the locals, participate in politics, legalize your status? Another question can be: Do you want to be fully integrated?
I am what I am, and I don't want to change that! If I want to change something, it is not in that direction, but to become a better me, with a higher understanding of things and places. I believe that a better me would have no problem living in any society. And I explain this by saying that a wiser me would have the capacity to educate those around me to accept me as I am! Education, here lies the biggest problem, not only to the situation exposed in this article, but to many other problems in any society! Why do i say that? Well, recently, I had a dispute in a parking lot, with a middle aged guy, who, in any other circumstance would look like an ordinary middle class man. The first thing he said (actually, he was shouting) when he realized I am a foreigner, was: "call the police, these illegals are criminals! I will send you back to where you belong! Why did you come here, to steal from our houses, and steal our jobs?". And that came after i tried to calm the man, speaking nicely, with respect, and not responding to his physical provocation. How do you respond to that? Well, first, a complaint to police needed proof, and witnesses! i cannot chase people on the street asking them to testify for me, i didn't even have the presence to think of it. Then, i searched for organizations that deal with this kind of discrimination, and all i could find was organizations that deal with discrimination against gay people or women! I understand those communities have problems too, but what about those that have been in my situation, where can they find advice and help? They can find help in the future, and that only if those minds in charge, realize that the world is going in a new direction, that mobility in this world of today has reached unprecedented new heights, and the only way to make a society work together is to have a clear understanding of the phenomenon and have clear policies against these manifestations. In this ever changing environment, it will always be a source of tension, maybe even conflict, as well as a source of radical speeches for "Hitler Wannabes" to distract attention from other problems. And politicians should not miss out reading Karl Von Clausewitz , not to study war, but how to stay away from conflict within one culture or society, or between different ones.
Coming back to an earlier question, if I want to be integrated, i say... Yes, but not at the expense of my dignity, not at the expense of my identity!
I am what I am, and I don't want to change that! If I want to change something, it is not in that direction, but to become a better me, with a higher understanding of things and places. I believe that a better me would have no problem living in any society. And I explain this by saying that a wiser me would have the capacity to educate those around me to accept me as I am! Education, here lies the biggest problem, not only to the situation exposed in this article, but to many other problems in any society! Why do i say that? Well, recently, I had a dispute in a parking lot, with a middle aged guy, who, in any other circumstance would look like an ordinary middle class man. The first thing he said (actually, he was shouting) when he realized I am a foreigner, was: "call the police, these illegals are criminals! I will send you back to where you belong! Why did you come here, to steal from our houses, and steal our jobs?". And that came after i tried to calm the man, speaking nicely, with respect, and not responding to his physical provocation. How do you respond to that? Well, first, a complaint to police needed proof, and witnesses! i cannot chase people on the street asking them to testify for me, i didn't even have the presence to think of it. Then, i searched for organizations that deal with this kind of discrimination, and all i could find was organizations that deal with discrimination against gay people or women! I understand those communities have problems too, but what about those that have been in my situation, where can they find advice and help? They can find help in the future, and that only if those minds in charge, realize that the world is going in a new direction, that mobility in this world of today has reached unprecedented new heights, and the only way to make a society work together is to have a clear understanding of the phenomenon and have clear policies against these manifestations. In this ever changing environment, it will always be a source of tension, maybe even conflict, as well as a source of radical speeches for "Hitler Wannabes" to distract attention from other problems. And politicians should not miss out reading Karl Von Clausewitz , not to study war, but how to stay away from conflict within one culture or society, or between different ones.
Coming back to an earlier question, if I want to be integrated, i say... Yes, but not at the expense of my dignity, not at the expense of my identity!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
I am asking you to ask yourselfs
Yes, i am asking you, to ask yourself, how do you feel having just one day left in the land of your old life, knowing that tomorrow you will be in the land of your choice! If you know exactly how you feel, send me an e-mail, or post a comment with your feelings, maybe i will be able the recognize it in me from the rainbow of emotion testing my nerves now. I don't even know if i am happy or sad, and i don't know how to identify the feelings. But what i know is that good things wait for me in either direction.
The mechanics of breaking away are a mystery to me, even though i did it twice, by choice, but i can't help a thought of remorse that crawls in my mind like a chameleon, covering its tracks, disguising itself into what my mind wants to hear and feel in every given moment. This time, as always, feels like breaking away...
Don't mind my useless rant, and don't bother reading if you haven't been walking my shoes, you will understand nothing, these words are resonating only in the hearts of immigrants!
Best of luck, wherever you are, dear reader!
Paul
The mechanics of breaking away are a mystery to me, even though i did it twice, by choice, but i can't help a thought of remorse that crawls in my mind like a chameleon, covering its tracks, disguising itself into what my mind wants to hear and feel in every given moment. This time, as always, feels like breaking away...
Don't mind my useless rant, and don't bother reading if you haven't been walking my shoes, you will understand nothing, these words are resonating only in the hearts of immigrants!
Best of luck, wherever you are, dear reader!
Paul
Monday, May 16, 2011
Playing with my own heart!
Transilvania, here I am!
Back to land that fed me spiritually when I was young... It always is (coming back here) a mixed feeling, a growing happiness mixed with a terrible fear. A fear that many cannot comprehend, and are even mocking me for it, but what they don't know is that, despite the fact that i come from here, and i was happy, here, sometime ago, this place gave me no chance to raise myself above the ranks. But, enough with this matter for now, i will probably deal with it in a later posting. Today, it's about being home, the home of my memories and childhood, the roots of my transformation from dust to what I am today.
I am sure, everyone feels connected one way or another to that particular place where we were born, or were we grew. I even noticed that I never stopped calling this place home, even though I don't live here anymore. It could be impregnated in our blood and flesh, encrypted in our brain, from the times we took our first steps, said our first words, and, somehow, these places stay with us for the rest of our lifes.
I arrived in my town early in the morning, when the sun was struggling to penetrate a meeting of fluffy clouds, and the feeling was that I lived this before (If I think of it, all my time spent here felt like I did it all before, so familiar were this places still). the silence in the morning is unique and waking up feels like escaping the jaws of sleep rather than just waking up. The rain recites to me unknown texts, while looking outside my windows gives me the view of a discreetly moving painting
Back to land that fed me spiritually when I was young... It always is (coming back here) a mixed feeling, a growing happiness mixed with a terrible fear. A fear that many cannot comprehend, and are even mocking me for it, but what they don't know is that, despite the fact that i come from here, and i was happy, here, sometime ago, this place gave me no chance to raise myself above the ranks. But, enough with this matter for now, i will probably deal with it in a later posting. Today, it's about being home, the home of my memories and childhood, the roots of my transformation from dust to what I am today.
I am sure, everyone feels connected one way or another to that particular place where we were born, or were we grew. I even noticed that I never stopped calling this place home, even though I don't live here anymore. It could be impregnated in our blood and flesh, encrypted in our brain, from the times we took our first steps, said our first words, and, somehow, these places stay with us for the rest of our lifes.
I arrived in my town early in the morning, when the sun was struggling to penetrate a meeting of fluffy clouds, and the feeling was that I lived this before (If I think of it, all my time spent here felt like I did it all before, so familiar were this places still). the silence in the morning is unique and waking up feels like escaping the jaws of sleep rather than just waking up. The rain recites to me unknown texts, while looking outside my windows gives me the view of a discreetly moving painting
Monday, April 11, 2011
Successful in another country?
I have no recipe on how to be successful in a foreign country. If i had that, i would be on an yacht, sipping my rum & coke, on a permanent summer vacation. The truth is, I am just an average guy, on a permanent search for self improvement, not necessarily with the goal of getting rich.
First time away from home was Kuwait. Now, that was an interesting experience! A friend of mine told me that before getting in Kuwait he thought he will get palm trees, sunshine, good food... while in Kuwait, he said he was still waiting for the palm trees. I got confused, the palm trees were there! Then, he said: 'i am still waiting for the real ones!" and he was right: the place was gorgeous, somehow, but fake. And still, i loved it! Being European in Kuwait was fantastic, opened a lot of doors.
Now, i am in Cyprus. Before landing here, i thought it is a small paradise island. How wrong I was! From the creepy airport (Larnaca was operating the old airport back then, but now that has changed a lot), to shitty services offered, and the general picture of the city... I thought I am making a step back! And there was no way back for me, I didn't wanted to go home with the tail between my legs, and say I was wrong going away. And I stayed. I lived with a friend for 2 weeks, then for another 2 weeks I lived in a decommissioned house, and then i found a job... small one, just to get by, but i could start only a month later... the thought of sleeping on the beach ate away my courage, and in the old, decommissioned house, i couldn't stay anymore, the owner didn't allow me to. At that point, i had about 10 euros in my pocket, and those were given to me by a friend.
First time away from home was Kuwait. Now, that was an interesting experience! A friend of mine told me that before getting in Kuwait he thought he will get palm trees, sunshine, good food... while in Kuwait, he said he was still waiting for the palm trees. I got confused, the palm trees were there! Then, he said: 'i am still waiting for the real ones!" and he was right: the place was gorgeous, somehow, but fake. And still, i loved it! Being European in Kuwait was fantastic, opened a lot of doors.
Now, i am in Cyprus. Before landing here, i thought it is a small paradise island. How wrong I was! From the creepy airport (Larnaca was operating the old airport back then, but now that has changed a lot), to shitty services offered, and the general picture of the city... I thought I am making a step back! And there was no way back for me, I didn't wanted to go home with the tail between my legs, and say I was wrong going away. And I stayed. I lived with a friend for 2 weeks, then for another 2 weeks I lived in a decommissioned house, and then i found a job... small one, just to get by, but i could start only a month later... the thought of sleeping on the beach ate away my courage, and in the old, decommissioned house, i couldn't stay anymore, the owner didn't allow me to. At that point, i had about 10 euros in my pocket, and those were given to me by a friend.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Welcome to a different World!
How many of us are away from home?
I come from a place that many heard of, but never knew how it is, which is a shame. I come from a place cut from a pastoral time, and forcefully brought into this century, where you can still drink spring water, find mushrooms in the forest, and get lost in the immensity of an untouched landscape. I grew up eating cherries and apples from the orchards around my town, and probing the slopes on a plastic bag in the winter (that almost broke my ass and legs a few times, in the same trees that were offering me cherries in the summer). I come from Transilvania! Sounds scary, doesn't it? Well, it isn't! Even now, when i put my foot on that beloved piece of soil, i find, well... Peace. Whenever i go there, i stop, just stop everything for a minute, look around, and breathe in that air that fed me as a child, and i can feel the ground keeping me there, with a magnetic touch... and i become a stone, a part of it again, even if only for a moment. I can feel that piece of land being proud of having me stepping on those old paths, proud of having me back, even for a short time, being happy that I've remembered where i come from.
How far are we from home?
Before asking that question, we should ask ourselves, where is home for us, what home means to us. I am home, i live in someone's heart, and it means everything to me! everything else is... well, memory mixed with melancholy.
Paul
I am among those who left the safety of my nest, to start over, and why not, to find adventure. Some did find it (in a good sense), i for one, did not... I dived in a world that i wasn't prepared for, a world that has been cruel to me, that shaped my life in unexpected ways. But it wasn't all wrong! Somehow, i managed to get by, and, yes, be successful, and by that i mean staying alive, and keeping myself sane.
I come from a place that many heard of, but never knew how it is, which is a shame. I come from a place cut from a pastoral time, and forcefully brought into this century, where you can still drink spring water, find mushrooms in the forest, and get lost in the immensity of an untouched landscape. I grew up eating cherries and apples from the orchards around my town, and probing the slopes on a plastic bag in the winter (that almost broke my ass and legs a few times, in the same trees that were offering me cherries in the summer). I come from Transilvania! Sounds scary, doesn't it? Well, it isn't! Even now, when i put my foot on that beloved piece of soil, i find, well... Peace. Whenever i go there, i stop, just stop everything for a minute, look around, and breathe in that air that fed me as a child, and i can feel the ground keeping me there, with a magnetic touch... and i become a stone, a part of it again, even if only for a moment. I can feel that piece of land being proud of having me stepping on those old paths, proud of having me back, even for a short time, being happy that I've remembered where i come from.
How far are we from home?
Before asking that question, we should ask ourselves, where is home for us, what home means to us. I am home, i live in someone's heart, and it means everything to me! everything else is... well, memory mixed with melancholy.
Paul
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